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One of the things I miss the most about Nigeria is the road rage, yet it’s one of the things that scares me the most about Nigeria.
I of course would rather watch the road rage than even be a teeny bit involved in it. I find it entertaining. And funny. And scary. I know I’m weird.
Anyway. I want you to meet Oga Abdul.
He’s our family driver and he’s been with my family for close to 15 years.
Oga Abdul is a no-nonsense driver.
He can navigate and find his way through traffic jams easily, and he doesn’t accept any less than his standard while he’s on the road.
He’s on the road to get to his destination fast!
He listens to Berkete Family on the radio while he drives. He is focused. He’s present. And he finds his way —FAST.
If people aren’t driving well enough (to him), he would wind down his window just to do the hand-to-head motion repeatedly and shout out to them: “You no well!” or “Wetin dey worry you?” 🙈
Recently I was driving home, and the car in front of me reminded me of Oga Abdul, because the car was almost swerving off the lane.
Oga Abdul would 100% complain about the driver out loud: “Abeg which kind driving be this?” or “Wetin this one dey drive?”
When I think about Oga Abdul, I think about someone who is known for his One Thing.
He drives well, but that’s not where it stops.
Even though he’s a bit extra with the road rage, he’s dedicated to his job.
He’s focused, he’s always on time, he knows his way around Abuja like the back of his hand, he’s available to work extra hours during busy periods like weddings, etc, he makes sure the cars are washed and fuelled, he’s respectful, he’s trustworthy, and, and, and…
And the way Oga Abdul shows up for his driving is how I wished I’d show up for the things that matter most to me.
Without the rage, of course. Lol.
But… think about it.
What would it look like if we really showed up in our deen? What if we made our deen and everything related to it, a priority? What if we were dedicated and focused and on time with salah, 5 times a day, every single day? What if we refused to accept anything less than excellent in the way we show up in our character, our speech, our actions… and especially in following the sunnah of the Prophet SAW?
What if we really showed up in our relationships with our parents, spouses, and friends? What if our parents and children and siblings got the best of us, not what’s left over? What if we showed up with Ihsan in these significant relationships?
What if we really showed up in our wealth? In a good way, of course. What if we were so focused on pleasing Allah through our wealth? What if we stopped letting fear, self-doubt, and procrastination control us and keep us B-to-tha-R-to-tha-O-K-E? 😆
What if we really showed up in our health? What if we turned our backs on junk food (for real this time)? What if we were more consistent with taking care of our bodies, our exercise, our sleep?
I think there’s a part of us - you and me - that can have Oga Abdul’s show-up-ness when it comes to the different areas of our lives.
Showing up for what matters is possible for you, dear friend. It’s doable.
You just have to be honest with yourself when answering the question: How much does it *really* matter to me?
Because when something *really* matters, you usually find a way to show up, no matter what, right?
Some of us are no-nonsense about social media. That scrolling has to happen every day because “how can we miss so and so’s post?”
Some of us are no-nonsense about the TV shows and series we watch. That new movie we’ve been waiting for — we watch it the minute it’s ready to be watched.
Some of us are no-nonsense about the way we look, the way we dress, the friend circles we hang out in…
We DO show up where it matters, and when it’s important to us.
This is good and not so good.
Good — because you know you already have the “show up muscle” in your body. Not so good — because perhaps the places you’re exercising your “show up muscle” right now may not be the thing that matters most to your heart.
This is where reflection and self-accountability come in. You have to ask yourself the hard questions sometimes.
All of the energy you’re putting into that one relationship… is that where you want to show up? This life you’ve been so focused on building… is it really what you want for yourself? Is it in alignment with what you want?
Take some time to think about where you already show up with Oga Abdul’s seriousness and dedication. And ask yourself if that’s really where you want to use up your (limited) show-up muscles.
If not, is there something else more pressing, like your relationship with the Qur’an or your diet?
Because remember, a muscle grows the more you use it.
Let’s carefully choose where we use our show-up muscles, mmmkay?
Love + Du’a
Maryam
What I’m up to
I’m not up to much this week. I’m just there, for the most part. Sendhugsthankyou.
But I want to hear from you — what are you up to? How’s your heart? What’s on your mind? What’s been the best part of your day/week so far?
I love reading your replies to my letters btw, so please do write back (or leave a comment) whenever you can.
I read and (try my best to) respond to everything :)
💝
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Hey! I want you to meet Oga Abdul